got to get the makeouts

[unatonable]

[ Out of all things, this wasn't particularly something she ever thought she would do. In fact, she had no clue that this was going to end up being the result of this race - sure, she came here to gather those parts of the corpse, but to think it would actually escalate into this, that she would actually even want to search someone out to talk to them about something like this.. she never could have seen it coming.

It feels weird, either way. Like she shouldn't. Or that she shouldn't deserve it. But despite what common sense is telling her, she can't help it - even though irrationally was what got her into trouble so long ago too, what brought her into a sin she couldn't just make up for.. "The flesh is weak", isn't that what they say? She knows it totally counts for her. She's so weak in that sense, yet again being unable to stop her first instincts and having called that guy out here now they're in a more or less safe area - or at least nowhere near one of those Stand users who are also after the body parts. She hopes, at least, it'd be horrible if a conversation like this got interrupted by that - but she really has to talk to him. There's no other way. There's no way she can just work out her weird and confusing feelings by herself, she needs some help - help from him, that is.. he's the one who caused it, either way, from that last time they spoke.

She isn't too hopeful he'll show up though. Unlike her, she knows he doesn't have time he would want to waste, not to mention that she doesn't even know how he's going to explain it to that guy he's with, no way Gyro would just agree with it if he told the truth about her having called him out here, but.. maybe there's a tiny hope within her that he'll show up all the same.

A foolish hope, she knows it, no doubt. ]

Comments

[unatonable]

[ She wrinkles her nose a little when he says she isn't the type to be interested in others, but she knows it's sort of true.. well, not like she doesn't care for others - she doesn't want bad things to happen to good people - but it's more that she doesn't want to involve herself with most people, that she's so distant.. well, obviously he would have noticed too. They didn't meet in the most graceful of ways, after all.

But what he says after it is much more confusing. Loving someone right now, opening up to someone completely.. she's not dumb, but at the same time she doesn't interact with people much so she's not sure if she's interpreting him right. Does he means he would want her to do that for him of all people..? Or is he just asking in general.. well, not like she knows, sometimes this guy's just an enigma to her.

But the answer to it is very simple, isn't it? Then again, the very answer itself makes her open, so maybe it's a little counterproductive in that sense, but..

It's why Hot Pants doesn't want to say it too directly, so she tries to find another way to do it. ]

Johnny Joestar.. do you think there is such an opportunity for a person who is beyond salvation? [ Not like she's outright rejecting him or saying anything personally meant to him though.. (Or moving away from under him.) It's just got to do with what she thinks about herself. ]

[crippledstar]

[Answering questions with more questions...all of this has to lead somewhere, and this woman had all the answers he needed in the first place. She really was mysterious, and he wanted to know why is she like that in the first place, but with how she answers his questions, the truth seems to become more and more cluttered along the way.

But that question she answered his question with...it was something that made his eyes shoot up a bit in realization of what the context behind it all means. He closes his eyes, gritting his teeth all the while. Dammit, how was he suppose to answer this in the first place- especially with how cool she's being right now? It's in stark contrast to how his emotions were flying all over the place. And even now, he's trying really hard to holding it back.

Especially considering this position- it's finally occurring to him that all of this is leading up to something that he just can't seem to fathom at all.

...even now, his voice comes out really low, almost as if he's whispering something to her.]

...you have to hunger in order to achieve what you want. If you hunger for that salvation, then you can certainly reach it- you can't inherit something like that. But...I believe that with help, someone can also reach that salvation that they so seek for.

...and someone could be that salvation for them, as well.

[unatonable]

[ With the way he's whispering like that and leaning on top of her it's.. really clear, if she's understanding this the right way then it's really too clear. But it's too strange to her, something she hadn't even considered that day she changed her life after her sin..

Despite how calm she is on the outside, as ever - although there might be the slightest faltering in her expression, how can she help it when she's lying on the ground like this - she's thinking about this all on the inside, wondering what to do..

When she speaks up again to him her voice is just a much of a whisper, something between just them as they're lying here, surprisingly comfortable despite how strange it is. ]

If you're going to say something.. then say it straight up. [ But it's not as harsh as usually, even if it's still direct. She's a hypocrite, okay. ]

[crippledstar]

Tch, what, I can't be as convoluted as shit as well? Sheesh, as if hearing that from you was bad enough... [Like that's really the time to talk about this right now, instead, he's still thinking about those words. Say what he wants, huh...?

...however, he's still a bit hesitant in really saying anything on the matter right now. Does he go ahead and say what's on his mind...? He doesn't know- she seems to be catching on to what he's saying clearly, if she's telling him to just say it already. Or...he could keep up this act, but he doesn't want to at all.

...it was decided. His eyes merely scanned her face, before drawing itself to a particular region- her lips. He closed his eyes, deep in contemplation, before his mouth opened up to speak once more.]

...you want me to say it, though? I'd think that actions speak louder than words themselves.

[And soon enough, the gap between them was slowly closing as Johnny's face began to drift closer to hers, eventually placing his forehead against hers, wrapping his arms around her. It was a bit odd to do it like this, but...he knew that he had to release it somehow, someway...and this would be the perfect opportunity.

It was then he finally closed the bridge between their lips, pressing his against hers, making sure that it was passionate. He wanted her to feel comfortable around him, to open up...maybe this would be something that would finally close it. But...it's a risk, because it's either she opens up, or he gets a face full of flesh.

pretend the icon is johnny ok

[unatonable]

[ She already thought it would lead up to this, but.. she's still surprised. Maybe it's because he actually went ahead and pushed his lips against hers like that, because he's kissing her rather than just saying it. The guy she's threatened before, she's helped before, who has been her rival.. right now he's lying on top of her, holding her and kissing her, and his feelings are more than clear just in the contact between their lips.

And it's not that she dislikes it. If anything, it feels.. nice, this feeling of being loved by someone, that's what it is, right..? The feeling of someone kissing you, holding you, but.. she knows.

She doesn't deserve it.

So Hot Pants moves, her hands pushing him away - not hard enough to push him completely off her, but just enough to make him stop kissing her. If he bothers to look at her expression though it's obvious she's not just calm like normally, she looks pretty.. freaked, confused, as if maybe she herself doesn't know what to do either. She can't just persue what she wants if she's carrying a heavy sin with her like this, no way, a person like her.. ]

D.. don't. [ But her voice shakes a little, showing that she's not sure of her case like she usually is. ] You know, me, it's.. [ She doesn't even know how to put it in the middle of all this, her voice trailing off. She's not being aggressive, either way, since yup, he would just have gotten a face full of Cream Starter then. ]

my dreams have been dashed jelle DASHED

[crippledstar]

[He knew that this would happen, she didn't seem like the type of person to just readily accept something like this so easily, let alone something as affectionate as a kiss. So, when he's pushed away like he was, he could only stare at her face for a few moments, letting the silence permeate between the two for a good minute.

But he was just examining her facial features- sure enough, she was confused- something else he expected. He had heard the story, but...something like that...]

...what? I know you're what, Hot Pants, a sinner? [It comes out direct, nothing is being left out at this point. He had heard the story before, about what she did to her brother- that sin she cannot be atoned for. But frankly...with these next words, it became clear what his true feelings were.]

So what if you're a sinner? Does it really matter that you carry this burden of guilt on your shoulders? If you close yourself off like this, Hot Pants, no one will be able to come along and save you- no one will even bat an eye your direction. But...you opened up to me, and...

[He pauses, staring directly into her eyes, his expression actually lightening up a bit.] ...I...guess I fell for a sinner. And I want to help you get rid of that sin. After all, that's something I'm going to drive myself for.

NO KYOU YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND...!!

[unatonable]

[ After all of that.. he's still saying that? Even though he knows? There's no way anyone could love her while knowing the truth, the only reason everyone was so nice to her after it is that they didn't know. They thought she was a victim too, but actually she was the one who cruelly sacrificed her own sibling just for her own safety..

But Johnny knows. And yet.. he fell in love with her, of all things..? How could he fall for someone whose actions are so ugly..

Her eyes grow watery once more. Just like the last time they talked. Just like that day years and years ago. She tries to blink back the tears, but she can't, they just fall all over again. ]

Even when I changed my life to only serve God.. I still wasn't forgiven. Then how do you think you can get rid of it..?

OH I THINK I DO. YOU WANT TO BREAK MY HEART!!

[crippledstar]

[Dammit, why is this girl so difficult in the first place...he's been trying to do everything he can to try and convince her otherwise, but she's so far into her delusion that she can't be saved, that Johnny is just about ready to slap her across the face. But...he knows that'll further complicate things in the long run, so he refrains from doing so.

Instead, he's looking down at her, and the tears that were forming in her eyes. It made something inside of him click, his arms wrap around Hot Pants, bringing her up so that she's sitting down properly now, instead of laying on the floor like she previously was.]

...I don't think this sin is something you can get rid of. But that's why you have to come to terms with what you did instead of making a pity party out of it. You think you're the only one in the world carrying a sin like that?

[He grits his teeth, his eyes flickering down to the ground as he remembers his...previous encounter with his father, and those words that were spoken to him.] ...place your faith in others, Hot Pants. Maybe they'll show you something you haven't thought of before.

well that i do :3

[unatonable]

[ Not like she wants to cry in front of him, okay, it's just that she really can't help it, it still just.. hurts, how she did something that bad and how she can never seem to atone for it. It's true, she's really losing herself in it, she's lost herself a long time ago in it, it's why she's always so cold and closed off..

But here he is, telling to let someone else in for once - to let him in. But she really does think she doesn't deserve it, nobody should care about her like that. With his stubbornness she won't change his mind though, huh.. he really won't change his mind about the fact that he likes her? And.. well, not like she dislikes him..

It's just so difficult to allow herself to give in, to at least partially get over her past like that. ]

And you think you're the one who'll show me, Johnny..? [ Since he's holding her like that and they're this close, it's little more than a whisper. Nobody else has to hear. ]

get out of life forever

[crippledstar]

[He closes his eyes momentarily, thinking of a way to answer that question of hers. Will he be able to show her that...hell if he knows, he knew he wasn't a saint himself, so what good would he do if he can't help out a girl like this in the first place. It just makes his stomach churn a bit as he thinks about how he might fail her in the long run. No, he has to pull through, for someone like her, he knows he can do it.

...so, after a bit of debate, his eyes flicker open once more, before he let out a tiny smile on his face.]

...hell if I know I can't be the one to show you. I can try, at least, and I want to try and help you through this, Hot Pants. That's...all I've ever wanted to do.

[Sure, it comes out a bit rushed, but he doesn't seem like he's talking far from the truth in the first place. He usually means what he says most of the time, unless it's to get out of a really desperate situation. So, he's still awaiting to hear what her answer might be, whether it's good or bad.]

i think you enjoy the tears you get out of our ships

[unatonable]

[ Insistent. Even now he's just that, he's been like that all along. It's why he's been so determined in his search, it's why that moment he just pushed her to the floor and started asking all this - because he's the kind of guy who can't back down once he starts on something.. even when that "something" is figuring out her, huh..

But he isn't sure if he can help her. Sure, he can try, but there's no guarantee. It shouldn't all be on him, either way, she knows more than anyone that she has to atone for herself somehow. Maybe she can't do anything about the corpse anymore by now, but maybe she can find some other way, just.. somehow..

But until then.. would it really be that bad to just want to believe in someone shining as brightly as the forgiveness she's been chasing all this time..?

It takes a moment, her gaze is downcast as she's thinking about all of it. But then she reaches out to him, surprisingly gentle and feminine all of a sudden, until she's holding him. It's easier that way since he can't use his legs, after all, so he can remain upright even while sitting here with her. He was already holding her, of course, but she wants to hold him in return, to show that...

.. that.. ]

I don't know if you make terribly bad or good decisions, Johnny. [ Considering he chose someone like her. ] But.. I think I like this one. [ By now their faces are so close again, she's staring at him from this close, even with a tiny smile of all things - it's so small that it's easy to miss, but there's no way he could do that from this close. ]

i am a masochist after all

[crippledstar]

[He was just about ready to call it quits if something like what he just said didn't convince her at all- but then it came to him that she began to hold unto him as well. It was something that made his eyes grow a little wider, but...they soon calmed down as he realized how close they were like this, them facing each other. It was enough to send blood rushing to Johnny's cheeks, as he let out a little gulp.

...she liked his choice, huh? Well, so did he. He really did enjoy choosing someone like her, someone he wanted to figure out and...it was through that that he fell in love with her in the first place. Something like that...he was okay with. Even this moment, right here, he'll probably cherish it, even though the position he's in...she's helping him out with it.

So, his smile grows a bit wider as he finally notices the tiny smile she had on her face. Sure, if you were far away, it would be pretty easy to miss, but...there it was, right there. More blood, and more heat came to him, but...he didn't want this moment to end right now.

Instead, he's giving her an Eskimo kiss instead, showing off his gratitude towards her actually accepting him as a helping hand to her...and possibly something more.]

Sorry if I'm a little stiff in all my reasoning, but...I guess the right choice was you, after all.

Plus...I like you acting all girly, anyways.

masochist weenie club...

[unatonable]

This is what I normally act like, though..

[ That part of her that shone through in the earlier conversation she had with him. Of course she normally does act like a girl, she was only acting overly manly to hide her true identity, and how distant she was naturally because of her personality only helped with that.. but this is more like what she's truly like, what she's starting to show him little by little here. ]

I am a woman, after all. [ And he's the one who kept her secret, the only one who's allowed to know. Of course Gyro would never be able to guess this went on between the two of them right now without knowing that either.. Hot Pants moves her head forwards a little so it's lightly leaning against his own forehead while they sit like this, even after the Eskimo kiss. ]

A woman who.. cares for a man like you. [ It's difficult to find the words for this, but she tries.. ] At first I thought you were a stubborn and selfish man, but.. I soon found out I was wrong. That's why I wouldn't mind.. .. giving myself to you. [ You know, as in, being together with him, dating in their own little way, something like that.. she's been a nun for so long that she doesn't know how to word it in any other way. ]

all the tears shall fall due to happiness

[crippledstar]

[Hearing those words come out of her mouth actually made his expression flush even more, but he still kept staring into her eyes, not even once wanting to break contact with her. Right now...it did feel good, this sort of warm feeling of having her having her forehead against his, and how she's saying all of these words...it was driving him mad at the moment, but he had to hold himself back, just settling for something like this.]

Heh, it's nice to know your opinion of me was so low at first, then again, I could say the same about someone who was a big ass to us at first. [Of course, he's referring to how she treated him and Gyro at first, but it was all in good humor for him right now.]

...but you know...I'm glad that you actually settled for someone like me...cause I didn't think I'd be good enough to have someone like you. But...it's fine, I already love you for who you are, Hot Pants. [He grinned at her, not even daring to mention how he actually found out about her being a girl in the first place.

...but that being said, he finally gave in to what he wanted to do in the first place, closing that gap between the two and giving her another kiss, a little bit more passionate than the one he gave her earlier, but...he really did feel happy with this, with her being with him now.]

happiness over these perfect ships

[unatonable]

[ She's not even going to contest the "big ass" part, okay. Not that she thinks she handled the wrong way, since she just did what she thought was right, but she knows that she was being a little.. let's call it direct, so she knows people can perceive her that way because of it. Instead she remains quiet, just listening to him and staring into his eyes as he's saying all of it. It's strange though, hearing that he didn't think he was good enough.. why..? If anything, she should be the one who isn't good enough after everything, because she's such a selfish person who got her own brother killed.. maybe they just share the same worry in that sense.

But the thought fades out of her mind the moment he moves to kiss her again. This time it's more properly since she doesn't just force it to stop, she goes along with it. By now, this is what Hot Pants herself wants too, just being close to him and kissing him. It's a very new feeling considering she hasn't really done this before thanks to being a nun for so long, but that doesn't mean it's bad. If it was, she wouldn't be kissing him in return, either way.

She keeps holding him with one arm, but she moves the other arm away from his back to instead put her hand on his cheek as they kiss, feeling his skin under her touch and this way she's able to press her mouth against his a little more too. She just keeps kissing him, his taste filling her, until she's completely out of breath so she really has to pull away for a moment to get some air. So.. this is what it's like.. or did it maybe only feel so good because it was Johnny and not someone else? Because it's someone she's come to open her heart to now.. ]

You're.. more than fine, Johnny. [ It's slowly said since she's out of breath, but she means it.. she looks more like a girl with her current kind of expression, either way. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyelids a little more lowered, not to mention that she's still actually smiling a little. She somehow can't stop. ]

LET'S DO THIS PROPERLY

[crippledstar]

[He can feel her taste filling him, the way she actually kisses him back...something like that, he really couldn't get past. And feeling her hand on his cheek, only to make the kiss more enjoyable...with past girls, he had things like this, but...no, this one was different. Something about this kiss, and this girl, in particular, made something inside of him just want to be with her for a long time, even to the point of when he dies. But he's getting ahead of himself in thinking that...because, well, he knows she won't leave him, nor will he leave her.

...but he had to think of how to explain this to Gyro in the first place, of how Hot Pants really wasn't a girl, and how he...well, he became close to her like this. Something like that seemed to actually make him go quiet for a second, but...he knew Gyro would actually understand one way or another.

Which is why he stares back at her once she pulls away, examining how more feminine her expression is, and how she's actually willing to show that side of her to him now. Something he can actually hold to him...well, at least, it's something that he can be proud of.]

I don't think you understand how a girl like you can do much better than settle with someone like me... [He muses, shaking his head and laughing a bit.]

tags with just hot pants' face

[unatonable]

Why? [ It sounds genuinely confused. Johnny is the one who is better than her, not the other way around, right? She's never been able to think of herself as worth anything anymore after the whole incident with her little brother. So why could she "do better" than settling with him..? ]

Because you can't walk, is that why you think that? I don't mind that.

[ Even if she'd had to help him get around, that's fine, she really doesn't mind. But she knows that Johnny is strong enough to get around by himself if he has to too, so that makes it even less of a problem. ]

Because aside from that.. there is nothing wrong with you. You are capable, strong, you never give up once you have something in mind, and.. [ .. ] You are kind. I guess it might sound like flattery, but I'm not the kind of person to flatter someone for no reason.

[ At least she manages to speak calmly now, although she's not going too far away from him, still lingering close.. ]

I do think you're an admirable person.

i am going to cry from that too

[crippledstar]

[...hearing all of these compliments definitely isn't helping out Johnny's complexion in the slightest. Man, he can't even remember the last time he's actually had someone tell him he's something special...if someone did, it was only to actually get something out of him because of his status before hand, but...hearing this come from Hot Pants is definitely making him feel warmer and warmer in the inside, his hands actually gripping and squeezing the fabric of Hot Pants clothes.]

...heh. You know, for someone who seems as though they've just lost all emotions in their body...you really are one of a kind, Hot Pants, and something like that is admirable in you, as well. But I think you have a point when you say you don't flatter people without a reason...

...so, is it my turn to flatter you, or have I run that river dry right now? [So he says, grinning at her all the while. Of course, if she's going to get used to him, she definitely has to get used to his stupid jokes...or at least the ones he hears from Gyro. But still...]

...you really are a nice person deep down, though...and learning more about you made me realize how much you have grown since that day...you really are a strong woman, Hot Pants. And something like that...I just can't seem to get out of my head. It's why I love you.

we'll never stop crying

[unatonable]

[ Yeah, good luck with those jokes, Hot Pants' sense of humor is already really, really bad (as in practically non-existent) but with their kind of jokes she will probably just stare and judge.. although she's keeping quiet about it for now as to not ruin the mood. Instead she focuses on his other words, that he really thinks that stuff about her, that he thinks she's strong.. she's not fully convinced of that fact herself, but the fact that he thinks she is is already good enough. It fills her chest with a strange warmth that it has lacked for so many years now. She came to this race to earn her salvation, but maybe she's gotten it in a completely unexpected other way, huh.. ]

Me too. I.. love you. [ It's strange to say it, it really is. Partly it still feels like she's betraying her brother and the memory of him by saying it, by daring to move on and be happy, but maybe it's time she finally makes that choice and actually starts living her life again. ]

That's why.. I want to stay with you, Johnny. No matter what the end result of this race is going to be, I just want to be by your side. [ She's quiet for a moment, pondering the words, but then she looks at him again. ] .. Is that strange?

[crippledstar]

[And hearing the words come out of someone like her makes it all the more strange for him, seeing as how he's letting out a small cough to actually get adjusted to what she's saying. But...yeah, he could get used to her being more feminine like this, actually. Not that it really does matter either way, he fell in love with her for the reasons he just stated.]


...heh, nah, it's not all that weird to say that at all. In fact, I was just about to say the same things myself, believe it or not. Guess it takes a person to actually say it to actually make you realize your true feelings, huh? ...thank you, Hot Pants.

[He was definitely blushing at the fact that she was able to spew something out like that. Tch, he really needed to adjust himself to her accordingly now, if they were going to be together like this...]

[unatonable]

[ Yeah, he's right. If it wasn't for the fact that he just climbed on top of her that one time and started asking her those things, she never even would have thought of this. She never would have seen him like this, but because of that moment she realised this, she knew she couldn't put it out of her head, that she couldn't get rid of the thought of him.. it's since he made that move that all of this started, huh.

But it's not like she's super used to this, so for a moment she does hesitate despite her usual determination. ]

I.. am not being too embarassing, am I? I'm not really used to this..

[crippledstar]

[Johnny thought about what she said for a moment. Embarrassing? Of course not, if anything, he's pretty sure that he'll be the one to actually embarrass the two in the long run. Which, to be honest, was probably how it was going to be; Johnny probably being goofy, with Hot Pants being the one to actually size down the situation at hand and to actually calm the guy down. ...yeah, he could probably get used to that.

Which is why he's still grinning goofily at her, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment.]

Course not, why would you be too embarrassing? It's how you feel, isn't it? ...and, well...

[He leaned in, giving her forehead a little peck.] ...it's genuine, isn't it?

[unatonable]

Of couse it is.. it's not as if I would lie about something like this.

[ It would have been one way to take advantage of the fact that she's the only woman here, by seducing some of the other participants of the race, but.. Hot Pants really isn't the type to go that, she has too much of a strong sense of justice and what's right, she'd never falsely do that. She doesn't care about winning, either way, just about the corpse parts for her own salvation, but she's already gained it like this in a way. Without having to do anything too bad. ]

Although.. I suppose it would be more difficult to hide the fact that I'm a woman now.

[crippledstar]

What does it matter if you're a woman or not? I mean, we're in love, so we should at least express it openly. But... [He stopped, slapping his forehead.] Shit, I totally forgot about how I'm going to explain all of this to Gyro...

[GOD DAMMIT GYRO YOUR NYOHOS COME UP AT THE WRONGEST TIMES EVER. But Johnny seems to actually wave off the notion of telling Gyro. He doesn't seem to be too bothered by it...unless Gyro were to make a fit about Hot Pants being a girl in the first place. He could hear the things he's saying right now as it is...]

...still, you shouldn't worry about that...think of it as part of you coming to terms with things, alright?

[unatonable]

.. Hmm. [ He's right. It's all part of everything.. part of her actually just being fully herself again since she's found her resolution, since she's found what she wants. And besides, as long as she loves Johnny and he loves her, why would other people's reactions matter? It's not like she hasn't been able to brush that stuff off before, so she still can do it now too. ]

I'll help you tell him, if you want me to. If he really has so much problems with the idea, then perhaps I should offer him some sandwiches.

[ She knows what you two did last time.

She knows. ]

[crippledstar]

S...sandwiches...? [...Oh. That's right, he totally forgot about what Gyro did in order to piss her off in the first place...looking back on it now, Johnny seems highly unimpressed with how Gyro was acting- then again, Gyro doesn't seem to trust people worth jack, and nor does Johnny. But a small, nervous grin seems to appear on Johnny's face as he just sorta...seems apologetic about the whole thing.]

Look, he's probably not going to pay much attention to you offering sandwiches in the first place...or, he will. Who even knows with that guy in the first place...look, all that matters is if we convince him about this whole thing, he'll understand, right?

[unatonable]

I.. haven't exactly spent time with men in a long time. [ SORT OF WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE A NUN YO. ] So I suppose you could say how he would react to it better than I could.

[ Although she always did find Johnny a little easier to deal with than the other guy.. but maybe it was since he was even more set on not trusting her to begin with, huh? That'd make this even more difficult. ]

However, I'm not scared. It is not like we necessarily need his approval either way.

[crippledstar]

Nah, I don't even think the guy could actually respond well to me actually finding someone. First, he'd make a joke, and then... [He's pretty sure Gyro's brain would spiral out of control and probably end up exploding in the process. Then again, the guy is pretty odd to deal with, and pretty childish...]

But yeah, you're right, I might not just end up telling him about it in the first place...and if he does find out, I'll just shut him up, does that sound good to you? Hehe, unless you want to make our love known.

[unatonable]

[ For a moment she seems to think about it. She doesn't exactly have problems with telling other people, but.. maybe it'd be for the best to wait after the race. After all, she might not be in it to win, but Johnny at least partially sure is, so she shouldn't let stuff like that get in his way. People would just bother them about it.. ]

.. No, that's fine with me. After all, this isn't the first time I've had to hide something. [ Like she's.. you know.. been doing all this time already with her gender.. ] Once this race is over, the two of us could.. just go somewhere together, right? Start a new life together..

[crippledstar]

...heh. You know, that's the last thing I expected coming out of you. [But it's sort of endearing that she's already thinking about something like that so soon. He wouldn't mind starting a new life with someone like her, wasting away their days until the two got old, have kids...something like that seems like a good way to live. And it's something he can get used to, after all...maybe this was the path he needed to walk again?]

...hey, um. [He wanted to ask this question, but he leaned in and whispered into her ear.] ...how would you feel about having kids, y'know? I mean...it'd be okay with you, right?

[unatonable]

[ She almost looks a little embarassed when he says it's not something he expected from her.. but it's true, she's always tried to seem so manly in front of him and everyone else here that hearing her be so homely and womanly must be pretty weird, even talking about a family and all.

However, the next question.. that one is even worse, and she has to swallow thickly at the very idea of it. Not that she minds it, she'd like it, honestly, but there's a different problem. ]

Would you.. really want to have children with someone like me? [ She practically killed her little brother, after all. Can she really trust herself with children then? ]