got to get the makeouts

[unatonable]

[ Out of all things, this wasn't particularly something she ever thought she would do. In fact, she had no clue that this was going to end up being the result of this race - sure, she came here to gather those parts of the corpse, but to think it would actually escalate into this, that she would actually even want to search someone out to talk to them about something like this.. she never could have seen it coming.

It feels weird, either way. Like she shouldn't. Or that she shouldn't deserve it. But despite what common sense is telling her, she can't help it - even though irrationally was what got her into trouble so long ago too, what brought her into a sin she couldn't just make up for.. "The flesh is weak", isn't that what they say? She knows it totally counts for her. She's so weak in that sense, yet again being unable to stop her first instincts and having called that guy out here now they're in a more or less safe area - or at least nowhere near one of those Stand users who are also after the body parts. She hopes, at least, it'd be horrible if a conversation like this got interrupted by that - but she really has to talk to him. There's no other way. There's no way she can just work out her weird and confusing feelings by herself, she needs some help - help from him, that is.. he's the one who caused it, either way, from that last time they spoke.

She isn't too hopeful he'll show up though. Unlike her, she knows he doesn't have time he would want to waste, not to mention that she doesn't even know how he's going to explain it to that guy he's with, no way Gyro would just agree with it if he told the truth about her having called him out here, but.. maybe there's a tiny hope within her that he'll show up all the same.

A foolish hope, she knows it, no doubt. ]

Comments

and thus it begins

[crippledstar]

[This was, and has got to be one of the dumbest things he's probably agreed to in the history of his life, and this race, no doubt. But...it was from her, of all people, and he knows that she's not one to talk to people personally about things...he's always seen her as closed off as a brick wall, and trying to penetrate that seemed like it would bring nothing, but false hope.

Yet...here he was, about to tackle that brick wall for himself. And alone, no doubt. Sure, Gyro seemed to protest that the two stick together, and that he wanted to show Johnny more of his hilarious comedy routines. But Johnny had to bullshit his way through everything that Gyro had opposed to before hand- especially since he brought up the fact that this could lead to something more dangerous than he thought.

...yet Johnny didn't seem to believe that. He...had some sort of feeling inside of him. Something that...made him want to see her once more in the first place. Yet...

He knows that the two might not progress farther then what they already were...rivals, and after the same goal, too. These corpse parts...another reason he didn't exactly want to do this in the first place. If another Stand user were to attack him here and now...he doesn't know if he could exactly be able to handle losing the corpse parts if said Stand user was stronger. No, he...didn't care about any of that at all. All that went through his mind right now was her.

And only her.

...but...he's already out to the point to where the two are supposed to meet. What did she want to talk about...he seemed to stop Slow Dancer from walking any further to scout around his surroundings and...sure enough, there she was. His eyes narrowed on her, as he raises his hand up in the air.]

...Hey. You better have a good reason for calling me out here. [Straight to the point, typical of Johnny.]

the best ship ever right

[unatonable]

[ At least despite her inner doubts, Hot Pants is very much looking like her usual self on the outside - just lineface, serious, as if it's difficult to tell what she's even thinking. On the inside she doesn't feel as calm though, and.. it definitely strikes her as weird. She's too used to being in control of at least herself lately, so why did everything back there make her feel so strange? She really can't explain it by herself, and it's why there's actual relief once she does manage to spot him. So he did show up despite everything, despite that he should have no reason to meet her, she has nothing to offer to him anymore, not even the parts of that corpse..

But then again, he's kept her secret even though he should have no reason for that either. Maybe this guy is just too difficult for her to understand in that sense.

She pulls up her shoulders into a small shrug once he speaks up. ]

That is for you to decide. My opinion isn't necessarily the same as yours, after all.

[ Serious and blunt as always on this side too.. She's not even saying "hello" or whatever, wow, rude. For now she's still using her more manly way of speaking either way since there's the possibility of someone being around overhearing them or even spying on them. ]

I just wanted to talk about last time. [ She shouldn't have to explain what that refers to, right.. ] We talked then too.

obvs the best ship ever

[crippledstar]

[Right, right, whatever nonsense is spewing out of her mouth, he's practically just staring at her with this annoyed look on his face. Yeah, he definitely remembers last time very well. He remembers almost croaking if he hadn't pulled some jesus bullshit that inevitably saved everyone's life. But...whatever. It's not his place to exactly say anything about what happened there.

...but he's still finding it a little odd that she's actually bringing up that moment, of all things, to talk about. Even more so that his face is actually twisting up a bit in confusion the more he thinks about it. No...she couldn't possibly be referring to...? His stare softens up a bit, but then goes back to it's usual stubborn stare of his.]

Last time? You mean when that soldier asshole almost killed me? Yeah, I definitely would like to talk about that.

[He grumbles a bit, not exactly wanting to go through what he had to back then. But...maybe he's being a little too harsh right now. Enough so that his shoulders slump a bit when he speaks up next.]

...unless you mean our conversation. But what about it do you want to talk about? I mean, there wasn't nothing special about that. [That's a lie, he knows something happened in that that...couldn't leave his head. Not for one second.]

[unatonable]

[ She can't help but scoff ever so slightly at what he first says. That's not what she means and he knows it, really. She didn't even get to realise most of the fight until it was over either way, so that's none of her business.. it's about what happened before he got pulled into the fight as well, when he was questioning her about the body parts. That part had been understandable to her goal-driven mind - he's just after the same thing as her, so of course he would ask her about that when he confronted her. But when he had pushed her on the floor like that, and then those things he asked her.. that's what she doesn't get. It's what makes the conversation "special", no matter what he claims.

Besides, she even showed her weakness in front of him back there.. did he forget already? Although it makes it easier in a way, she doesn't like being directly confronted with it too much. It's her own guilt, after all. ]

So you are saying you just do that to every woman you meet? I can't imagine you're very popular in that case then. [ It's a little sarcastic or at least blunt, of course, but.. then she pauses for a moment, and when she speaks up again, her tone is changed a little. She didn't have time to think about it clearly back there, but after having had some time to herself, the more she thought about it the more his words stood out to her..

So she sounds a little more genuine. Maybe a little more open, putting the locked door only open slightly, the tiniest split, but it's definitely there. It's even shown in her eyes. ]

What I mean is.. why did you ask me those things?

[crippledstar]

[He can't help it if he's still a little pissed off and stubborn about the events that took place inside of that church, he really didn't feel like fighting some dude that almost killed him. But...well, that was beside the point of what he was trying to say.

But it was those last words of hers that made his eyes shoot up a bit, mostly due to the shock of her...actually opening up a bit to him. She was usually line faced most of the time, and never dared to show any emotions besides the ones that she...well, never had. But...seeing her actually openly ask him about why he said those things...and...

...oh. He remembers the position they were in at that time too, and it was evident that his face became a bit flustered at that, enough so that he lets out a sigh, looking at her with his usual stare.]

...tch. Come over here.

[It's a shot, and he's not entirely sure if she'd cooperate with him, but he's already dismounting his horse like he usually does, sitting on the ground. Why did he ask those things...he didn't exactly know himself. All he knows is that he...

He just can't seem to shake the thought of her out of his mind, and it was driving him crazy at this point.]

...if you want to know so badly, that is. I'm...still wanting those answers, Hot Pants. After all, I'm not done questioning you.

[unatonable]

[ .. What, instead of answering her question he just wants to get his own answers even now? It's why she gives him a slightly sceptical look as he gets off his horse like that, as if she isn't sure whether she wants this or not, but.. she just.. really needs to know why he even said all of that, exactly since she can't understand it it just keeps haunting her mind. One thing's for sure, she can't just leave now and be satisfied with it, she really can't.

It's why after that hesitant moment, she slowly steps over. Slowly, though. She does know it could be a trap, but.. at this point she doesn't think it is. She knows he's a good person despite everything, otherwise she wouldn't have bothered stopping killing him at one point and healing his wounds at another. Besides, she doesn't have any corse parts left, and she's not racing to win, so what good could he gain from killing her here? Nothing. And she doesn't seem to have Cream Starter at hand either, so it's not like she looks like she has any ill will right now. ]

.. A question for a question then. Until I know what your intentions are, I don't just want to say everything.

[ She's getting closer.. ]

As a show of good will, I'll answer one of your questions first. Yes, I am really a nun, that wasn't just some normal disguise. Doesn't that make it obvious why I had to dress like this? There is no way they would let a woman, let alone a nun, participate in something like this.

[ Slowly her way of speaking is changing more too, becoming less and less masculine with every word. And she finally stops once she's basically right near him.. ]

So.. this time you answer. What use are the answers to these questions for you since I-- [ She shakes her head, switching from a masculine way of saying "I" to a distinctively feminine way.. ] "I" am no longer a relevant opponent to you?

[crippledstar]

[...is she...no, she can't be getting more and more feminine as she approaches him. She's always been someone to just...outshine him in the masculinity department, even if he, himself, was a male. It's just part of who she was, but her actually seeming to drop that disguise right now...does it mean she's completely willing to actually open up to him that much? Especially now by how close she is to him...

It's driving him wild, really. He needs to know these answers soon, too, to what he asked her, but...she seems to have questions of her own. And he doesn't seem to be getting any further than where he already was, but...it seems it was his turn to answer the questions.]

...because. [He starts off slowly, looking up at her all the while.] ...can't a guy take interest in a girl every once in a while? I mean...hell. It's not that you don't matter, it's just...

[How was he even to say this in the first place? It seemed a bit difficult to get out, but...hell, he couldn't stand this anymore. His arm shot out to hers, pulling her down so that she could be on the same level as him, but it wasn't forceful one bit. It was...more gentle, as if making sure she doesn't get hurt in the process. But...they were face to face, once more.]

...tch. What, you want me to say something along the lines of "oh, I can't get you out of my head"? Because...well.

[unatonable]

[ As if she gets romance that much, she's been a nun for most of her life, okay! Before that she was sort of too young either way.. so she tends to take that last part a little too literally.

But first she feels herself being grabbed, and for a moment she's about ready to defend herself and strike back.. but then she knows he's not attacking her but just pulling her down. It's obvious from how he isn't doing it in some harsh way, if anything it's almost.. nice. It makes her a little surprised for a moment before she regains more of her usual look. ]

Because.. that's it, I assume? [ Well, that's a good thing, either way. Because she felt the same about the whole deal and she's not sure what it even means. Why can't she stop thinking about that moment he was right on top of her, asking her those questions.. ]

After all.. if I wasn't thinking of that moment like you are, then I wouldn't have called you out here to begin with. [ She's at least making her comfortable sitting on the ground here if he insist she be on an equal level with him.. ] So I thought hearing your reasons for it might give me more clarity as to why I can't stop thinking about it.

[crippledstar]

[Oi, not like he has had much luck with love in the first place, he got crippled all because he was being a doucher for a girl in the first place!! Well, at least by now he's definitely learned his lesson.

But there was just something about this girl in particular that he just couldn't wrap his head around. How in the world can she just...go about, being so cold all the time, and keeping up that facade that she doesn't care? Sure, he's...heard something out of her, but that really doesn't explain anything, not unless he can actually get more out of her...

But it was when she said that last thing that his eyes seemed to widen a bit, before settling down. It was then that...well, he couldn't take it anymore, so before he knew it, his body was already moving itself, making its way to be on top of her once more, almost as if replicating their last encounter.]

...Don't say it like you're the only one who's had that moment stuck in their head. Do you know how much I've actually been up...thinking about it? [He was gritting his teeth, finally easing up and bringing his face even closer.] ...because I want to know more. Have you ever loved anyone? I'm still wondering that.

[unatonable]

[ Johnny, what do you think you're doing?! You can't just suddenly do that to a girl just because you're crippled, okay, despite it happening last time she's still definitely not prepared for any of this! She notices herself starting to hold her breath once he crawls on top of her like that, but on the other hand, it also means she's not resisting what he's doing either, in the end she's just.. letting him, despite herself.

What is she supposed to do, either way? Last time she couldn't defend herself because of the Stand attack, but this time she could have reacted just fine, even now as her hat falls off her head, rolling down the street a little. But Hot Pants doesn't look at it, she just looks into his eyes as he starts talking like that again. ]

That's a rather.. strange kind of interest. [ She's saying it slowly, trying to come to terms with all of this. Trying to figure it out. ] But if you insist on knowing.. no, I haven't.

[ In a way her family, maybe, but she knows she might not have really loved them either way if she sacrificed her little brother that easily - she must be a monster, for her to have done something like that at that moment.. a sinner. ]

In case you aren't aware of it, nuns are traditionally expected to not indulge in such things.. [ But her voice trails off a little, definitely feeling the tension now they're like this again. ]

[crippledstar]

[It's not because he's crippled, it's because he's...well, he'll probably get to that later. For now, he's just...staring down at her like they were that day, except she's at free reign to do anything she wants to him. Yet...he finds it surprising that she's not struggling back against him. It's something that makes him ease up a bit, feeling his grip on her loosening a bit.

And hearing that the girl hasn't loved either, he clicks his tongue. Yeah, he figured that the answer was something like that, so he just lets out a little sigh.]

Hey, you tell me it's a strange interest? Haven't you ever been around people much? [It's a light tease, but he's still asking a question he'll probably never get the answers to.] ...nah, you probably didn't. You don't seem like the type of person to actually be interested in other people.

[But still, he's not moving from this position they're in at all. He wants to...keep her there, for a while.]

...tell me, though. If you were to throw your nun ways away...would you be able to love someone right now? [Sure, it's out there, but...] ...would you ever be able to open up to someone completely, to let them see...who you really are?

[unatonable]

[ She wrinkles her nose a little when he says she isn't the type to be interested in others, but she knows it's sort of true.. well, not like she doesn't care for others - she doesn't want bad things to happen to good people - but it's more that she doesn't want to involve herself with most people, that she's so distant.. well, obviously he would have noticed too. They didn't meet in the most graceful of ways, after all.

But what he says after it is much more confusing. Loving someone right now, opening up to someone completely.. she's not dumb, but at the same time she doesn't interact with people much so she's not sure if she's interpreting him right. Does he means he would want her to do that for him of all people..? Or is he just asking in general.. well, not like she knows, sometimes this guy's just an enigma to her.

But the answer to it is very simple, isn't it? Then again, the very answer itself makes her open, so maybe it's a little counterproductive in that sense, but..

It's why Hot Pants doesn't want to say it too directly, so she tries to find another way to do it. ]

Johnny Joestar.. do you think there is such an opportunity for a person who is beyond salvation? [ Not like she's outright rejecting him or saying anything personally meant to him though.. (Or moving away from under him.) It's just got to do with what she thinks about herself. ]

[crippledstar]

[Answering questions with more questions...all of this has to lead somewhere, and this woman had all the answers he needed in the first place. She really was mysterious, and he wanted to know why is she like that in the first place, but with how she answers his questions, the truth seems to become more and more cluttered along the way.

But that question she answered his question with...it was something that made his eyes shoot up a bit in realization of what the context behind it all means. He closes his eyes, gritting his teeth all the while. Dammit, how was he suppose to answer this in the first place- especially with how cool she's being right now? It's in stark contrast to how his emotions were flying all over the place. And even now, he's trying really hard to holding it back.

Especially considering this position- it's finally occurring to him that all of this is leading up to something that he just can't seem to fathom at all.

...even now, his voice comes out really low, almost as if he's whispering something to her.]

...you have to hunger in order to achieve what you want. If you hunger for that salvation, then you can certainly reach it- you can't inherit something like that. But...I believe that with help, someone can also reach that salvation that they so seek for.

...and someone could be that salvation for them, as well.

[unatonable]

[ With the way he's whispering like that and leaning on top of her it's.. really clear, if she's understanding this the right way then it's really too clear. But it's too strange to her, something she hadn't even considered that day she changed her life after her sin..

Despite how calm she is on the outside, as ever - although there might be the slightest faltering in her expression, how can she help it when she's lying on the ground like this - she's thinking about this all on the inside, wondering what to do..

When she speaks up again to him her voice is just a much of a whisper, something between just them as they're lying here, surprisingly comfortable despite how strange it is. ]

If you're going to say something.. then say it straight up. [ But it's not as harsh as usually, even if it's still direct. She's a hypocrite, okay. ]

[crippledstar]

Tch, what, I can't be as convoluted as shit as well? Sheesh, as if hearing that from you was bad enough... [Like that's really the time to talk about this right now, instead, he's still thinking about those words. Say what he wants, huh...?

...however, he's still a bit hesitant in really saying anything on the matter right now. Does he go ahead and say what's on his mind...? He doesn't know- she seems to be catching on to what he's saying clearly, if she's telling him to just say it already. Or...he could keep up this act, but he doesn't want to at all.

...it was decided. His eyes merely scanned her face, before drawing itself to a particular region- her lips. He closed his eyes, deep in contemplation, before his mouth opened up to speak once more.]

...you want me to say it, though? I'd think that actions speak louder than words themselves.

[And soon enough, the gap between them was slowly closing as Johnny's face began to drift closer to hers, eventually placing his forehead against hers, wrapping his arms around her. It was a bit odd to do it like this, but...he knew that he had to release it somehow, someway...and this would be the perfect opportunity.

It was then he finally closed the bridge between their lips, pressing his against hers, making sure that it was passionate. He wanted her to feel comfortable around him, to open up...maybe this would be something that would finally close it. But...it's a risk, because it's either she opens up, or he gets a face full of flesh.

pretend the icon is johnny ok

[unatonable]

[ She already thought it would lead up to this, but.. she's still surprised. Maybe it's because he actually went ahead and pushed his lips against hers like that, because he's kissing her rather than just saying it. The guy she's threatened before, she's helped before, who has been her rival.. right now he's lying on top of her, holding her and kissing her, and his feelings are more than clear just in the contact between their lips.

And it's not that she dislikes it. If anything, it feels.. nice, this feeling of being loved by someone, that's what it is, right..? The feeling of someone kissing you, holding you, but.. she knows.

She doesn't deserve it.

So Hot Pants moves, her hands pushing him away - not hard enough to push him completely off her, but just enough to make him stop kissing her. If he bothers to look at her expression though it's obvious she's not just calm like normally, she looks pretty.. freaked, confused, as if maybe she herself doesn't know what to do either. She can't just persue what she wants if she's carrying a heavy sin with her like this, no way, a person like her.. ]

D.. don't. [ But her voice shakes a little, showing that she's not sure of her case like she usually is. ] You know, me, it's.. [ She doesn't even know how to put it in the middle of all this, her voice trailing off. She's not being aggressive, either way, since yup, he would just have gotten a face full of Cream Starter then. ]

my dreams have been dashed jelle DASHED

[crippledstar]

[He knew that this would happen, she didn't seem like the type of person to just readily accept something like this so easily, let alone something as affectionate as a kiss. So, when he's pushed away like he was, he could only stare at her face for a few moments, letting the silence permeate between the two for a good minute.

But he was just examining her facial features- sure enough, she was confused- something else he expected. He had heard the story, but...something like that...]

...what? I know you're what, Hot Pants, a sinner? [It comes out direct, nothing is being left out at this point. He had heard the story before, about what she did to her brother- that sin she cannot be atoned for. But frankly...with these next words, it became clear what his true feelings were.]

So what if you're a sinner? Does it really matter that you carry this burden of guilt on your shoulders? If you close yourself off like this, Hot Pants, no one will be able to come along and save you- no one will even bat an eye your direction. But...you opened up to me, and...

[He pauses, staring directly into her eyes, his expression actually lightening up a bit.] ...I...guess I fell for a sinner. And I want to help you get rid of that sin. After all, that's something I'm going to drive myself for.

NO KYOU YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND...!!

[unatonable]

[ After all of that.. he's still saying that? Even though he knows? There's no way anyone could love her while knowing the truth, the only reason everyone was so nice to her after it is that they didn't know. They thought she was a victim too, but actually she was the one who cruelly sacrificed her own sibling just for her own safety..

But Johnny knows. And yet.. he fell in love with her, of all things..? How could he fall for someone whose actions are so ugly..

Her eyes grow watery once more. Just like the last time they talked. Just like that day years and years ago. She tries to blink back the tears, but she can't, they just fall all over again. ]

Even when I changed my life to only serve God.. I still wasn't forgiven. Then how do you think you can get rid of it..?

OH I THINK I DO. YOU WANT TO BREAK MY HEART!!

[crippledstar]

[Dammit, why is this girl so difficult in the first place...he's been trying to do everything he can to try and convince her otherwise, but she's so far into her delusion that she can't be saved, that Johnny is just about ready to slap her across the face. But...he knows that'll further complicate things in the long run, so he refrains from doing so.

Instead, he's looking down at her, and the tears that were forming in her eyes. It made something inside of him click, his arms wrap around Hot Pants, bringing her up so that she's sitting down properly now, instead of laying on the floor like she previously was.]

...I don't think this sin is something you can get rid of. But that's why you have to come to terms with what you did instead of making a pity party out of it. You think you're the only one in the world carrying a sin like that?

[He grits his teeth, his eyes flickering down to the ground as he remembers his...previous encounter with his father, and those words that were spoken to him.] ...place your faith in others, Hot Pants. Maybe they'll show you something you haven't thought of before.

well that i do :3

[unatonable]

[ Not like she wants to cry in front of him, okay, it's just that she really can't help it, it still just.. hurts, how she did something that bad and how she can never seem to atone for it. It's true, she's really losing herself in it, she's lost herself a long time ago in it, it's why she's always so cold and closed off..

But here he is, telling to let someone else in for once - to let him in. But she really does think she doesn't deserve it, nobody should care about her like that. With his stubbornness she won't change his mind though, huh.. he really won't change his mind about the fact that he likes her? And.. well, not like she dislikes him..

It's just so difficult to allow herself to give in, to at least partially get over her past like that. ]

And you think you're the one who'll show me, Johnny..? [ Since he's holding her like that and they're this close, it's little more than a whisper. Nobody else has to hear. ]

get out of life forever

[crippledstar]

[He closes his eyes momentarily, thinking of a way to answer that question of hers. Will he be able to show her that...hell if he knows, he knew he wasn't a saint himself, so what good would he do if he can't help out a girl like this in the first place. It just makes his stomach churn a bit as he thinks about how he might fail her in the long run. No, he has to pull through, for someone like her, he knows he can do it.

...so, after a bit of debate, his eyes flicker open once more, before he let out a tiny smile on his face.]

...hell if I know I can't be the one to show you. I can try, at least, and I want to try and help you through this, Hot Pants. That's...all I've ever wanted to do.

[Sure, it comes out a bit rushed, but he doesn't seem like he's talking far from the truth in the first place. He usually means what he says most of the time, unless it's to get out of a really desperate situation. So, he's still awaiting to hear what her answer might be, whether it's good or bad.]

i think you enjoy the tears you get out of our ships

[unatonable]

[ Insistent. Even now he's just that, he's been like that all along. It's why he's been so determined in his search, it's why that moment he just pushed her to the floor and started asking all this - because he's the kind of guy who can't back down once he starts on something.. even when that "something" is figuring out her, huh..

But he isn't sure if he can help her. Sure, he can try, but there's no guarantee. It shouldn't all be on him, either way, she knows more than anyone that she has to atone for herself somehow. Maybe she can't do anything about the corpse anymore by now, but maybe she can find some other way, just.. somehow..

But until then.. would it really be that bad to just want to believe in someone shining as brightly as the forgiveness she's been chasing all this time..?

It takes a moment, her gaze is downcast as she's thinking about all of it. But then she reaches out to him, surprisingly gentle and feminine all of a sudden, until she's holding him. It's easier that way since he can't use his legs, after all, so he can remain upright even while sitting here with her. He was already holding her, of course, but she wants to hold him in return, to show that...

.. that.. ]

I don't know if you make terribly bad or good decisions, Johnny. [ Considering he chose someone like her. ] But.. I think I like this one. [ By now their faces are so close again, she's staring at him from this close, even with a tiny smile of all things - it's so small that it's easy to miss, but there's no way he could do that from this close. ]

i am a masochist after all

[crippledstar]

[He was just about ready to call it quits if something like what he just said didn't convince her at all- but then it came to him that she began to hold unto him as well. It was something that made his eyes grow a little wider, but...they soon calmed down as he realized how close they were like this, them facing each other. It was enough to send blood rushing to Johnny's cheeks, as he let out a little gulp.

...she liked his choice, huh? Well, so did he. He really did enjoy choosing someone like her, someone he wanted to figure out and...it was through that that he fell in love with her in the first place. Something like that...he was okay with. Even this moment, right here, he'll probably cherish it, even though the position he's in...she's helping him out with it.

So, his smile grows a bit wider as he finally notices the tiny smile she had on her face. Sure, if you were far away, it would be pretty easy to miss, but...there it was, right there. More blood, and more heat came to him, but...he didn't want this moment to end right now.

Instead, he's giving her an Eskimo kiss instead, showing off his gratitude towards her actually accepting him as a helping hand to her...and possibly something more.]

Sorry if I'm a little stiff in all my reasoning, but...I guess the right choice was you, after all.

Plus...I like you acting all girly, anyways.

masochist weenie club...

[unatonable]

This is what I normally act like, though..

[ That part of her that shone through in the earlier conversation she had with him. Of course she normally does act like a girl, she was only acting overly manly to hide her true identity, and how distant she was naturally because of her personality only helped with that.. but this is more like what she's truly like, what she's starting to show him little by little here. ]

I am a woman, after all. [ And he's the one who kept her secret, the only one who's allowed to know. Of course Gyro would never be able to guess this went on between the two of them right now without knowing that either.. Hot Pants moves her head forwards a little so it's lightly leaning against his own forehead while they sit like this, even after the Eskimo kiss. ]

A woman who.. cares for a man like you. [ It's difficult to find the words for this, but she tries.. ] At first I thought you were a stubborn and selfish man, but.. I soon found out I was wrong. That's why I wouldn't mind.. .. giving myself to you. [ You know, as in, being together with him, dating in their own little way, something like that.. she's been a nun for so long that she doesn't know how to word it in any other way. ]

all the tears shall fall due to happiness

[crippledstar]

[Hearing those words come out of her mouth actually made his expression flush even more, but he still kept staring into her eyes, not even once wanting to break contact with her. Right now...it did feel good, this sort of warm feeling of having her having her forehead against his, and how she's saying all of these words...it was driving him mad at the moment, but he had to hold himself back, just settling for something like this.]

Heh, it's nice to know your opinion of me was so low at first, then again, I could say the same about someone who was a big ass to us at first. [Of course, he's referring to how she treated him and Gyro at first, but it was all in good humor for him right now.]

...but you know...I'm glad that you actually settled for someone like me...cause I didn't think I'd be good enough to have someone like you. But...it's fine, I already love you for who you are, Hot Pants. [He grinned at her, not even daring to mention how he actually found out about her being a girl in the first place.

...but that being said, he finally gave in to what he wanted to do in the first place, closing that gap between the two and giving her another kiss, a little bit more passionate than the one he gave her earlier, but...he really did feel happy with this, with her being with him now.]

happiness over these perfect ships

[unatonable]

[ She's not even going to contest the "big ass" part, okay. Not that she thinks she handled the wrong way, since she just did what she thought was right, but she knows that she was being a little.. let's call it direct, so she knows people can perceive her that way because of it. Instead she remains quiet, just listening to him and staring into his eyes as he's saying all of it. It's strange though, hearing that he didn't think he was good enough.. why..? If anything, she should be the one who isn't good enough after everything, because she's such a selfish person who got her own brother killed.. maybe they just share the same worry in that sense.

But the thought fades out of her mind the moment he moves to kiss her again. This time it's more properly since she doesn't just force it to stop, she goes along with it. By now, this is what Hot Pants herself wants too, just being close to him and kissing him. It's a very new feeling considering she hasn't really done this before thanks to being a nun for so long, but that doesn't mean it's bad. If it was, she wouldn't be kissing him in return, either way.

She keeps holding him with one arm, but she moves the other arm away from his back to instead put her hand on his cheek as they kiss, feeling his skin under her touch and this way she's able to press her mouth against his a little more too. She just keeps kissing him, his taste filling her, until she's completely out of breath so she really has to pull away for a moment to get some air. So.. this is what it's like.. or did it maybe only feel so good because it was Johnny and not someone else? Because it's someone she's come to open her heart to now.. ]

You're.. more than fine, Johnny. [ It's slowly said since she's out of breath, but she means it.. she looks more like a girl with her current kind of expression, either way. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyelids a little more lowered, not to mention that she's still actually smiling a little. She somehow can't stop. ]

LET'S DO THIS PROPERLY

[crippledstar]

[He can feel her taste filling him, the way she actually kisses him back...something like that, he really couldn't get past. And feeling her hand on his cheek, only to make the kiss more enjoyable...with past girls, he had things like this, but...no, this one was different. Something about this kiss, and this girl, in particular, made something inside of him just want to be with her for a long time, even to the point of when he dies. But he's getting ahead of himself in thinking that...because, well, he knows she won't leave him, nor will he leave her.

...but he had to think of how to explain this to Gyro in the first place, of how Hot Pants really wasn't a girl, and how he...well, he became close to her like this. Something like that seemed to actually make him go quiet for a second, but...he knew Gyro would actually understand one way or another.

Which is why he stares back at her once she pulls away, examining how more feminine her expression is, and how she's actually willing to show that side of her to him now. Something he can actually hold to him...well, at least, it's something that he can be proud of.]

I don't think you understand how a girl like you can do much better than settle with someone like me... [He muses, shaking his head and laughing a bit.]

tags with just hot pants' face

[unatonable]

Why? [ It sounds genuinely confused. Johnny is the one who is better than her, not the other way around, right? She's never been able to think of herself as worth anything anymore after the whole incident with her little brother. So why could she "do better" than settling with him..? ]

Because you can't walk, is that why you think that? I don't mind that.

[ Even if she'd had to help him get around, that's fine, she really doesn't mind. But she knows that Johnny is strong enough to get around by himself if he has to too, so that makes it even less of a problem. ]

Because aside from that.. there is nothing wrong with you. You are capable, strong, you never give up once you have something in mind, and.. [ .. ] You are kind. I guess it might sound like flattery, but I'm not the kind of person to flatter someone for no reason.

[ At least she manages to speak calmly now, although she's not going too far away from him, still lingering close.. ]

I do think you're an admirable person.

i am going to cry from that too

[crippledstar]

[...hearing all of these compliments definitely isn't helping out Johnny's complexion in the slightest. Man, he can't even remember the last time he's actually had someone tell him he's something special...if someone did, it was only to actually get something out of him because of his status before hand, but...hearing this come from Hot Pants is definitely making him feel warmer and warmer in the inside, his hands actually gripping and squeezing the fabric of Hot Pants clothes.]

...heh. You know, for someone who seems as though they've just lost all emotions in their body...you really are one of a kind, Hot Pants, and something like that is admirable in you, as well. But I think you have a point when you say you don't flatter people without a reason...

...so, is it my turn to flatter you, or have I run that river dry right now? [So he says, grinning at her all the while. Of course, if she's going to get used to him, she definitely has to get used to his stupid jokes...or at least the ones he hears from Gyro. But still...]

...you really are a nice person deep down, though...and learning more about you made me realize how much you have grown since that day...you really are a strong woman, Hot Pants. And something like that...I just can't seem to get out of my head. It's why I love you.

we'll never stop crying

[unatonable]

[ Yeah, good luck with those jokes, Hot Pants' sense of humor is already really, really bad (as in practically non-existent) but with their kind of jokes she will probably just stare and judge.. although she's keeping quiet about it for now as to not ruin the mood. Instead she focuses on his other words, that he really thinks that stuff about her, that he thinks she's strong.. she's not fully convinced of that fact herself, but the fact that he thinks she is is already good enough. It fills her chest with a strange warmth that it has lacked for so many years now. She came to this race to earn her salvation, but maybe she's gotten it in a completely unexpected other way, huh.. ]

Me too. I.. love you. [ It's strange to say it, it really is. Partly it still feels like she's betraying her brother and the memory of him by saying it, by daring to move on and be happy, but maybe it's time she finally makes that choice and actually starts living her life again. ]

That's why.. I want to stay with you, Johnny. No matter what the end result of this race is going to be, I just want to be by your side. [ She's quiet for a moment, pondering the words, but then she looks at him again. ] .. Is that strange?

[crippledstar]

[And hearing the words come out of someone like her makes it all the more strange for him, seeing as how he's letting out a small cough to actually get adjusted to what she's saying. But...yeah, he could get used to her being more feminine like this, actually. Not that it really does matter either way, he fell in love with her for the reasons he just stated.]


...heh, nah, it's not all that weird to say that at all. In fact, I was just about to say the same things myself, believe it or not. Guess it takes a person to actually say it to actually make you realize your true feelings, huh? ...thank you, Hot Pants.

[He was definitely blushing at the fact that she was able to spew something out like that. Tch, he really needed to adjust himself to her accordingly now, if they were going to be together like this...]

[unatonable]

[ Yeah, he's right. If it wasn't for the fact that he just climbed on top of her that one time and started asking her those things, she never even would have thought of this. She never would have seen him like this, but because of that moment she realised this, she knew she couldn't put it out of her head, that she couldn't get rid of the thought of him.. it's since he made that move that all of this started, huh.

But it's not like she's super used to this, so for a moment she does hesitate despite her usual determination. ]

I.. am not being too embarassing, am I? I'm not really used to this..

[crippledstar]

[Johnny thought about what she said for a moment. Embarrassing? Of course not, if anything, he's pretty sure that he'll be the one to actually embarrass the two in the long run. Which, to be honest, was probably how it was going to be; Johnny probably being goofy, with Hot Pants being the one to actually size down the situation at hand and to actually calm the guy down. ...yeah, he could probably get used to that.

Which is why he's still grinning goofily at her, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment.]

Course not, why would you be too embarrassing? It's how you feel, isn't it? ...and, well...

[He leaned in, giving her forehead a little peck.] ...it's genuine, isn't it?

[unatonable]

Of couse it is.. it's not as if I would lie about something like this.

[ It would have been one way to take advantage of the fact that she's the only woman here, by seducing some of the other participants of the race, but.. Hot Pants really isn't the type to go that, she has too much of a strong sense of justice and what's right, she'd never falsely do that. She doesn't care about winning, either way, just about the corpse parts for her own salvation, but she's already gained it like this in a way. Without having to do anything too bad. ]

Although.. I suppose it would be more difficult to hide the fact that I'm a woman now.

[crippledstar]

What does it matter if you're a woman or not? I mean, we're in love, so we should at least express it openly. But... [He stopped, slapping his forehead.] Shit, I totally forgot about how I'm going to explain all of this to Gyro...

[GOD DAMMIT GYRO YOUR NYOHOS COME UP AT THE WRONGEST TIMES EVER. But Johnny seems to actually wave off the notion of telling Gyro. He doesn't seem to be too bothered by it...unless Gyro were to make a fit about Hot Pants being a girl in the first place. He could hear the things he's saying right now as it is...]

...still, you shouldn't worry about that...think of it as part of you coming to terms with things, alright?

[unatonable]

.. Hmm. [ He's right. It's all part of everything.. part of her actually just being fully herself again since she's found her resolution, since she's found what she wants. And besides, as long as she loves Johnny and he loves her, why would other people's reactions matter? It's not like she hasn't been able to brush that stuff off before, so she still can do it now too. ]

I'll help you tell him, if you want me to. If he really has so much problems with the idea, then perhaps I should offer him some sandwiches.

[ She knows what you two did last time.

She knows. ]

[crippledstar]

S...sandwiches...? [...Oh. That's right, he totally forgot about what Gyro did in order to piss her off in the first place...looking back on it now, Johnny seems highly unimpressed with how Gyro was acting- then again, Gyro doesn't seem to trust people worth jack, and nor does Johnny. But a small, nervous grin seems to appear on Johnny's face as he just sorta...seems apologetic about the whole thing.]

Look, he's probably not going to pay much attention to you offering sandwiches in the first place...or, he will. Who even knows with that guy in the first place...look, all that matters is if we convince him about this whole thing, he'll understand, right?

[unatonable]

I.. haven't exactly spent time with men in a long time. [ SORT OF WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE A NUN YO. ] So I suppose you could say how he would react to it better than I could.

[ Although she always did find Johnny a little easier to deal with than the other guy.. but maybe it was since he was even more set on not trusting her to begin with, huh? That'd make this even more difficult. ]

However, I'm not scared. It is not like we necessarily need his approval either way.

[crippledstar]

Nah, I don't even think the guy could actually respond well to me actually finding someone. First, he'd make a joke, and then... [He's pretty sure Gyro's brain would spiral out of control and probably end up exploding in the process. Then again, the guy is pretty odd to deal with, and pretty childish...]

But yeah, you're right, I might not just end up telling him about it in the first place...and if he does find out, I'll just shut him up, does that sound good to you? Hehe, unless you want to make our love known.

[unatonable]

[ For a moment she seems to think about it. She doesn't exactly have problems with telling other people, but.. maybe it'd be for the best to wait after the race. After all, she might not be in it to win, but Johnny at least partially sure is, so she shouldn't let stuff like that get in his way. People would just bother them about it.. ]

.. No, that's fine with me. After all, this isn't the first time I've had to hide something. [ Like she's.. you know.. been doing all this time already with her gender.. ] Once this race is over, the two of us could.. just go somewhere together, right? Start a new life together..

[crippledstar]

...heh. You know, that's the last thing I expected coming out of you. [But it's sort of endearing that she's already thinking about something like that so soon. He wouldn't mind starting a new life with someone like her, wasting away their days until the two got old, have kids...something like that seems like a good way to live. And it's something he can get used to, after all...maybe this was the path he needed to walk again?]

...hey, um. [He wanted to ask this question, but he leaned in and whispered into her ear.] ...how would you feel about having kids, y'know? I mean...it'd be okay with you, right?

[unatonable]

[ She almost looks a little embarassed when he says it's not something he expected from her.. but it's true, she's always tried to seem so manly in front of him and everyone else here that hearing her be so homely and womanly must be pretty weird, even talking about a family and all.

However, the next question.. that one is even worse, and she has to swallow thickly at the very idea of it. Not that she minds it, she'd like it, honestly, but there's a different problem. ]

Would you.. really want to have children with someone like me? [ She practically killed her little brother, after all. Can she really trust herself with children then? ]